MY STUPID STORY

                                                My STUPID STORY
                                            (the story of my stupid but inspirational life...hmm maybe.)
                                                  BernardBirdman



   EDUCATION....is it really worth to finish my studies?


When i was fifteen years old.I was studying in Far Eastern University taken up an Architectural Course.I love it.I said it to myself i want to finish my course coz' this is what i really wanted to be in the future.A great and a well known architecture building and house designer.
Time to time my ambition started to dissappointing me.No money.Lack of everything.Bad financial status.My mother does'nt work.She's a typical mother who's in charged to take all household chores and helped us in everything we need like food,cleaning our rooms etc.etc..And my father worked as a gardener and sometimes he get some extra job or sidelines.No everyday transportation.No food.I have no social connection with my classmates or any person at my age in the school because i thought i am different with them.I hear them with laugh.Full of excitement.They hang-out most of the time.They go out in every free time and they go out together in groups.And me as always.Alone and alone as always.I kinda asked myself what made me wrong?Am i nerd or something?Am i a bad person?Am i ugly?Or do i look a most stupid in that University?That i felt so broken hearted in every aspect.How sad to be a poor person and live in my own world everyday.Funny and unbelievebable but YES!Yes it is.

Then i figured out that maybe i had this path coz' i look so debil.Or maybe my attitude pulled me  to be such a stupid coz' thats is how i believe in.I mean...How can they trust me or connect with me if i or myself dont know how to interact on my own?Am i real?I mean really!I cannot heard myself of asking these kind of weird questions?I mean it's like i am fucking a most desirable woman in the whole world and i dont know where i am fucking her at that moment!Such a fucking stupid!

As the days passed i started to re-constructuring myself mentally,spiritually and physically.Yes and NO.First i have to accept that i was a stupid.And so......WHAT?
Okay!
So What?That's a great start then.Admit.Accept.And start again.First i have to accept that not every poor person that live in this earth deserved to be live miserable.No insecurities and don't intimidate with the person who are in good status.Don't critisized them.Yes there are some who can maybe judge you for being in a low class status.But i guess there are also a few of them whom maybe accept you for being you.Yes for being ME..maybe.Well.....wish me LUCK!And most of all.Try to be have ANGST!Yes...Angst!Is it a proper word?I guess so...because i can't change maybe people who laughed at me always looked at me as weak and stupid one.Try to be look as a confident person who can believe to himself.

Anyway.Now i going to school.A new person.I dont want to feel embarrassed.I have to believe in myself.Stood in my desicion to change.That day i started entering at the gate.Walking up ahead high.With a smile full of confidence.That is the first time i said...IM BACK!And that i saw in every step i made seeing a different reactions.Negative and positive.And each of that reactions build me a worth and unworthless vibes.Fuck!!!!!I never felt this way before.But honestly i brings me more in a positive ways.And on that day  i realized that no one in this world can destroy any people condition.Fact is,whatever it may cause for you cannot neglect your spirit inside.But it always depend on you...always depends on you.

Rebuild your personality....And when i get home and when i lay in bed that i start focusing on how to help myself financially.Maybe i can help myself by looking a job for hours.Or explore my talent by start painting or drawing.That i can start to connect with people.Wow!I can build my social connection.Maybe if they discover that i can draw them in a white sheet maybe that can ask my service.That is a good start.Honestly it's a weird reaction.But i have to accept all the positive vibes.Each day has passed things have changed and i am right.I did everything right.Now people start waiting for me sometimes at the gate.They're looking at my presence now.I feel so good.I earned a lot of good reactions with a lot of persons.They saw me.I did'nt feel neglected at all.When i started to communicate with them for all any topic and talking with them by any stupid and intellectual sense now it does'nt really matters.What really matter now is im good and i am really good.

I studied hard.I worked hard as a part-time student.I did some extra services by drawing them and helping them to sketch.I build some friends and bestfriends.And most of all i met an inspiration of my life.My loving partner which is better to keep it private.And what's the best part is i helped also my parents by showing them that i am here financially and spiritually helping them to look at me as a good and great person as what they really dream to be as me.In years before i finish my Architecture course i become one of the most favorite students in the University.Loving person and an inspiration.
I was close to won with a 5 votes less in a Student President's List.I dont care.I dont want any position at all.That is not a bitterness honestly.It's not my case.I mean.I already owned it.I am already a sweetheart with them.Thanks for my confidence.

In a years passed.I did'nt push to terminate my Architecture.Tragic comes for a reason.I cannot continue my studies because opportunity came only once.My parents have a friend who help me go to abroad.And that opportunity changed my life.I am now living in Madrid,Spain.And that attitude i experienced when i was in college get me through to surpassed any challenge i've got here.Well it's tragic honestly for a person like me who always wanted to achieved a career.To be an Architect.But i already accept it.It's not for me.It's not my path to be a Architect.But i still have a chance to look for another.Now i am studying Paintings in a special classes here in Madrid,Spain where the most famous painters born in here like Goya,Diego Velazques Picazzo among others.Life always start with a great beginnings coz' life lives on our own strategy.
   
 As they say...believe in yourself and felt you are worthy and dont loose hope because if that happens.....there is no life at all.